One Day
by Lego Kid At Heart
Summary: I did make you a promise though. And I will keep it. One day... This is my take on if Gareth had been allowed to live. [Rick/Gareth]
1. Chapter 1 - One Day

Hello all. First Walking Dead fanfic. Let me know what you think.

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><p>Chapter 1 – One Day<p>

Pain. God, the pain.

It radiated like a fire, burning up his arm in streaks that made Gareth gasp and sputter. It hurt so bad. He clutched at his wounded left hand, trying to somehow stanch the blood flow. Gareth could see his fingers and he stared at them for a second...

Then looked back at his hand.

Bloody rings of raw meat stared back at him from where his index and middle finger used to be.

He looked back up a Rick, who stared down at him mercilessly, gun in one hand, the other resting on the red handle of a machete. Moonlight fell through the church windows, giving the tall leader an eerie glow. Gareth knelt there, clutching his left hand. The smell of wood and must filling his nostrils.

"No point in begging right?" He choked out, trying to maintain his composure while the fire ate through his arm.

"No." Rick replied. The word was final, an ultimatum.

"Still, You could have killed us when you came in. There had to be a reason for that." Gareth could feel the desperation creeping into his voice. Coldness was settling in his stomach, in stark contrast with the burning of his hand.

"We didn't want to waste the bullets."

The explanation hit Gareth hard, bowling him over inside. The coldness was spreading and turning to panic. As the dread took over his being, a realization hit Gareth. A very small, yet at the same time monumental, realization.

He wanted to live.

Gareth wanted to live so badly, that he was willing to do anything to do it. Even become a cannibal. Not only be willing to eat other humans, but lure them in, hunt them down, and slaughter them. Gareth had simply accepted that this was how it was now, but never thought about the reason behind his decision. Why? Why had he thrown away his humanity.

He wanted to live. Death absolutely terrified him.

But Gareth hadn't always been this way.

"We used to help people, we saved people." Gareth paused, staring up at Rick through his sweaty brown hair, "Things changed. They came in and -" Gareth's voice broke, gasping. His chest heaved without his consent, a small sob catching in his throat. He could feel the tears catch. The sound of Martin breathing heavily next to him bought Gareth back. Martin was scared too. The reality of their imminent death had just hit baseball capped man as well. Gareth glanced over and saw Martin shiver slightly. The pretty black girl, Sasha, stood over him with a knife. The anger in her eyes was murderous.

No. Gareth would not cry.

And he would not beg.

"You don't know what they did."

"Torture... Murder..." Rick looked down at him from the barrel of his gun. "We know-"

"Starve us." Gareth cut Rick off. "Rape- ….."

Gareth thought of his mother. He remembered being trapped in that train car, listening to her screams outside as those demons had their way with her. Over and over again. Gareth had almost gone mad, clutching Alex to keep himself grounded. But that torment had been nothing compared to when they had brought Mary back, unconscious and bloody.

Their gluttonous appetites still not sated.

"And not just the women." Gareth continued, breath barely a whisper.

Martin jerked next to him, "Shut up, Gareth." His voice was an angry growl, but underneath there was hurt and sadness.

Gareth looked over at him, their eyes meeting for the briefest of moments. As much as they didn't always get along, Gareth's group shared an unspoken bond, cemented by fierce loyalty and the same desire to live. The things they had gone through together made them forever connected, like soldiers who had braved war together. Gareth looked back up at Rick, now reassured and strengthened by his comrades.

"After that... I know that you've been out there, but I can see it." His voice turned to steel, "You don't know what it means to be hungry."

Gareth heard the door behind Rick crack open slightly and with a quick glance he saw Gabriel, the priest, staring out at him. Those dark eyes were haunting, frightened and full of sadness.

"You don't have to do this." Gareth said, trying to make his voice as convincing as possible while staring into Gabriel's scared eyes. He could see the doubt creeping into the black man's face. Gareth looked back up at Rick. "We can walk away and we will never cross path's again. I promise you."

"But you'll cross somebody's path. You'd do this to anyone." Rick's gun hand holstered his weapon, while the other rested itself back on the red handled machete. "Besides I already made you a promise."

In a silver flash, the blade was whipped from Rick's belt and swung upwards in a graceful ark. Then it was falling. Falling. Coming for him. To kill him.

"NOOOO" Gareth could hear his voice. His scream.

But his wasn't the only one.

Suddenly Father Gabriel rushed forward.

"STOP NOW!" The frail man's voice was strong for once, commanding. It was so sudden, that Rick actually paused and turned, his blue eyes curiously confused.

Gabriel hesitated, reverting back to his cowardly self. "I... I-I just..." He looked around, not meeting anyone's gaze.

"This is the Lord's house."

Tension hung in the church air like a suffocating fog. The silence was almost too much for Gareth to bear as his mind tried to wrap around the fact that he had almost died, yet was amazingly still alive. His breath was rapid and shallow, his heart beating like a hummingbird's.

"No" Martin snapped suddenly, "It's four walls and a roof."

Martin then lunged at Sasha, baseball cap flying as he tried to grab the knife from her hand. Rick was there in a flash, plunging the machete deep into his back with a sickening squelch. When Rick yanked it backwards, Martin's back exploded with blood that splattered all over the nearby pews. All over the church pandemonium broke out as Gareth's comrades were butchered in the most brutal ways. Father Gabriel's voice could be heard, shrieking "No! No!" No!" over and over again. As Gareth sank to the floor he saw Abraham smashing in Liz's head with the butt of his rifle. Sasha was back on her feet and repeatedly hacking away at a dying Martin's chest.

Gareth suddenly realized that Rick was coming back for him, machete raised. And in that moment, time slowed down for him. The thundering of Rick's boots, the silver swing of the machete, the horrendous moans of pain from the people who looked to Gareth for leadership as they were butchered.

_You're either the butcher or the cattle..._

"I am cattle..." Gareth whispered to himself.

A dark hand gasped Rick's wrist. Gareth blinked. The bearded man jumped slightly and then turned, violently jerking himself away from whoever dared to touch him while he was in this state of mind.

"No. Please, NO." Gabriel gasped, "No more. Please." The black man's brow was beaded with heavy sweat, his eyes moist with his falling tears.

It was only then that Gareth realized he had pushed himself onto his back, palms raised upward. He looked at his hand again, his two missing fingers on his left hand... Everything had happened so fast and been so chaotic that Gareth had not even remembered that he was left handed. The two main fingers on his dominant hand were gone. He almost felt like laughing, while he stared at the gaping circular wounds, but found his eyes watering instead.

Pitiful, weak sobs racked his slender frame as he lay there. He moved from his prone position, sprawled out on the floor, to his side while cradling his injured hand to his chest.

"No more." Gabriel repeated breathlessly. He watched as Gareth laid his head down on the floor.

"Out of the way." Rick's tone was terrifying.

"I am a sinner." Gabriel's weak voice shook, "We are all sinners. As penance of my crimes, the Lord has sent all of you to punish me. My guilt is like a plague upon my soul and I can not let anyone else die upon my watch. I will take responsibility of this man, heal him, and try to save his soul to make myself right again with Our Father."

Rick squinted slightly. Gareth could tell, even in his overwhelmed state, that Rick was thinking. The grip he had on the machete was hard and tense. Gareth knew that Rick wanted nothing more than to sink it's blade into his chest. However, the bearded leader had paused, a contemplative look overtaking his rigid face. Was he actually considering this?

"He killed Bob!" Sasha broke in, suddenly furious.

"No." Gabriel, countered, "Bob was bit and would have died anyways."

Sasha's beautiful face screwed up, tears forming in the corners of her eyes. "You son of a bitch." She bought up the knife, but Rick's raised hand stopped her.

"You know what priest, it's about time you tasted the world," Rick's drawl made the words slow and foreboding, "You want to... to _save _him. Fine. Save him"

Rick looked from Gabriel to Gareth. The man's blue eyes were steel and ice. Gareth shivered and looked away. The sound of Rick's steady steps on the hard wood of the church floor made Gareth look back up. He flinched as Rick's hand shot out and grabbed his jaw firmly and raised him off the floor slightly. Their noses were almost touching.

"I did make you a promise though," Rick's warm breath hit Gareth in the face. Gareth's wide brown eyes met Rick's slowly. "I will keep it. One day."

Rick then shoved the younger man away, the back of Gareth's head hitting the wooden floor with a loud thunk.

The last thing Gareth heard before the world faded to black was Rick's steady boots reverberating through cold floor, his low growl of a voice beating through Gareth's sanity.

"He's all yours Father."

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><p>Please review. Thank you!<p> 


	2. Chapter 2 -Grave Digger, Grave Robber

Thank you for those of you who reviewed. I GREATLY appreciate it!

Since this AU, I know it will diverge from the show in many aspects. However, I will try to keep to certain events and include places/people from the show and the comics as well as I can in order to make the story as "believable" as possible.

I have figured out a good writing schedule for myself and think I will update between Monday and Wednesday once a week, every week. I will try to keep to this, but make no promises! =D

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><p>Chapter 2 = Grave Digger, Grave Robber<p>

_The sound of screaming. Yelling. _

_It was full of pain. _

_Angry. _

_Gareth looked down at his left arm. What he saw made his stomach twist and bile filled his mouth. It was rotted, green and grey, congealed brown blood pooling over sick dead skin. He was going to puke. His stomach heaved violently. _

"_Gareth." a gentle voice brought him out of his panic. He looked up frantically. _

"_Mom?" _

_There she was, smiling. Mary's eyes were gentle and full of love. Of life. It was as if the Turn had never happened. _

_And then she was gone. _

_A large hand knotted in his hair, yanking him backwards and he could feel hot rotting breath on his neck. Another hand was grabbing the front of his pants, squeezing and pulling hard. Gareth went stiff as he remembered who it was. What had happened to him in those hellish weeks... When those demons had taken Terminus. _

_Screaming. Yelling. _

_Angry. _

_It was angry. _

Gareth's eyes fluttered slightly.

"Bob is dead! He's gone, Rick" Sasha's pain rang clearly in Gareth's ears.

"Killing this man will not bring him back." Gabriel's soft voice tried to break through her hysteria and failed. Gareth blurry vision came slowly into focus. He was is a closet of sorts, a long pantry with no windows. Floor to ceiling metal shelving lined either side of him.

"Rick! Are you really going to let this happen?"

"It's his house. His rules." Rick did not sound happy at all, "Besides I was right about you finally getting your hands dirty Father."

Sasha made an aggravated noise and the sound of heavy stomping followed, getting quieter and quieter as she made a beeline for the outside, muttering about getting some fresh air.

Gareth turned his head slightly and he could see Father Gabriel and Rick standing in a doorway. Past them, Gareth could see Gabriel's office. He was still in the church, but stuffed into some backroom. His left hand was heavily bandaged and throbbing so he shifted slightly, trying to get comfortable, and heard a clank. Looking to his right he found that his other wrist was handcuffed to one the metal racks. Instinctively, he pulled against it, causing another clank as the chain rattled.

Both Rick and Gabriel turned at the sound. Gareth froze and looked up at them, dark eyes hooded and emotionless. He met Rick's gaze with iron determination, the leader's icy gaze only making his own harder.

Gareth was alive.

Apparently he would stay alive too, thanks to the stupid priest. Gareth felt his strength, his stubbornness, and his anger returning. He had been given a second chance, and now with everyone he had every loved gone, all the people who had looked up to him butchered, and his home burned to the ground, Gareth really had nothing to hold him back.

Or hold him down.

He felt strangely liberated.

Gareth knew that this was wrong. He should be sad, no, he should be devastated. Last night he had broken down and cried because he was so broken. However, as he stared at Rick, meeting his unspoken challenge, he felt invigorated and strong.

"You haven't killed me," His eyebrow gave a sudden quirk, "That's kind. What's with the handcuffs? I'm unarmed and injured."

"I don't trust you to not do something stupid."

"You should know that I'm not stupid." Gareth recounted smoothly. He held up both hand, palms outward and raised in surrender. "You made me a promise, now I make you one. I will not do anything stupid."

Gareth couldn't help the smirk that played casually on his lips. However, his stomach was starting to turn a little bit. Fatigue was starting to set in, making his eyes droop and his arms unbearably heavy. He was thirsty and his churning stomach yearned for sustenance.

"May I at least have some water? Food?"

Gabriel nodded and scurried away, leaving just Rick and Gareth. Rick watched the shorter man bustle about outside before turning back towards Gareth. He stepped into the pantry, taking just one more glance over his shoulder before squatting down to be down on Gareth's level. Gareth just watched him intently, leaning back against one of the metal racks, his injured handed cradled to his chest.

"I want to make something very clear. I do not give a damn about the Father's guilt or redemption. I let him save you because it is about time he woke up to reality of this world. I am going to kill you. In the end."

Gareth just sat there, drinking in those words. He turned them over inside his head, tasting them and finding them true.

"I know." Gareth replied softly, nodding.

"Dad? Dad?" Carl strolled into Gabriel's office, looking around with his hand on his gun handle. The boy's eyes settled upon his father, watching him as he stood back up. For a brief second Carl looked past his father and curiously peered at Gareth from beneath his sheriff's hat. Rick noticed and quickly blocked both of the younger males' view of each other.

"They're leaving." Carl said finally. Rick nodded and threw a warning glance over his shoulder at Gareth before following his son outside. As he exited, Father Gabriel came hurriedly back in, carrying water and a few nutrition bars. The shorted man almost ran into Rick, but backed away and danced nervously around him, never looking up.

Gareth took the large cup of clean water that Gabriel offered.

"Thank you Father." Gareth purred. Gabriel didn't answer just nodded and starting pulling wrappers off of two of the bars. He placed them on Gareth's lap and then pulled a first aid kit off of one of the shelves.

"Give me your hand please," Gabriel was so polite, Gareth almost rolled his eyes, but presented his hand instead. The priest went about examining the bandages. "Well it looks like the bleeding has stopped. I am going to take them off, disinfect your wounds and then stitch them up. I don't have any anesthetic, so it's going to hurt. I'm sorry."

Gareth just smiled, willing down the nervousness.

"That's fine," He paused and then leaned forward a little, making Gabriel jump, "Who's leaving?"

"Um... Abraham, Rosita, Eugene, Maggie, Glenn and Tara. They're heading for Washington."

Gareth frowned. He had not expected that one.

"Rick doesn't strike me as the kind of guy who would split up your merry band."

Father Gabriel licked his lips as he carefully pulled off the bandages. "He's not. Abraham won't tolerate setbacks, and you being here didn't exactly help convince him staying was a pleasant option. Rick can't leave because Daryl and Carol aren't back yet. He'll follow once they return."

"The Archer and that silver haired bitch that killed my mom? Yea, I'll wait for her too." Gareth watched the dread wash over Gabriel's face. He slunk backwards, as if Gareth was some sort of poisonous snake. "Don't worry, Father. I'm joking. I told Rick nothing stupid."

Gareth gave a short laugh and took a large bite of the first bar. Strawberry. Gareth hated strawberry.

The priest now had all the bandages, discolored with blood and dirt, piled neatly to one side. Gareth finally braved looking at his hand. He knew what he would see, but his heart still sank when looked and saw that his two fingers were gone. Just gone. He could almost feel them there, itching and throbbing. He could almost move them...

"Ok, so this is going to sting." Father Gabriel warned. He had a small jug of clear vodka in his hand now.

Gareth shifted nervously, "What's a priest doing with alcohol?"

Gabriel just smiled and then, holding Gareth's hand steady, poured it over Gareth's wounds. Gareth bit back a cry, clenching his jaw tight. He pushed himself back into the metal shelving, his eyes closed. Gabriel did it again and this time Gareth couldn't help but let out a short shrill yelp of pain, but he kept his hand still.

Gabriel released him and then pulled out a hooked needle and some thin white thread.

"Have you ever done this before?" Gareth asked, honestly hoping that Gabriel had.

"Yes, actually."

"How?"

Gabriel paused. "I wasn't always a priest. When I was a young man, I went to med school to be a doctor. I was about 3 semesters from graduation when I was called by the Lord to do His will. I left that future behind and went to Seminary and never looked back. Now it seems that a doctor is more useful in this world than a priest..."

"How ironic." Gareth and Gabriel sat quietly for a moment. As annoying and naive as this priest could be, Gareth actually liked him.

"Just lay down and keep still." Gabriel said, the comforting nature of his voice betraying the fact that he was done treading the needle and was eying Gareth's wounded hand with it poised delicately between his fingers.

"I'll hold him down." A low voice cut in. Rick was back, Carl standing closely behind him in the pantry doorway. Gareth felt his neck heat up. His anger rose in his chest.

"I don't need you too." He was surprised by the coolness of his own words.

"All the same." Rick handed his gun and knife to Carl and walked forward. Without waiting for Gareth to agree or protest, he knelt down close with one knee settled between Gareth's spread legs. He roughly grabbed Gareth's forearm with one hand and Gareth's wrist with another, leaning his elbow on the younger man's chest to pin him against the metal shelving behind him.

Gareth's breath hitched slightly as frightening memories came rushing back. Memories of Terminus that Gareth had suppressed, hidden deep within and convinced himself never happened. Rick's weight on top of him unsettled him in a way that Gareth vowed he would never let happen again. Gareth closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he opened them he could see that Rick was focused on Gabriel. He hadn't even noticed Gareth's reaction.

Gareth finally followed Rick's gaze to Gabriel. The priest had settled on his course of action and gave Gareth one last look before nodding.

"Here we go."

Gareth's face screwed up in pain as the needle pricked into his raw inflamed flesh. He could feel fresh blood starting to pour down his hand. He managed to keep steady though and didn't pull away. His body was taunt and rigid. However as needle dug into him repeatedly over several agonizing minutes, Gareth felt lightheaded.

Rick suddenly let go of his wrist and grabbed his hand. His larger hand was tight around Gareth's, unforgiving.

"Thanks." Gabriel muttered, focus completely on his work.

Gareth gave a loud cry as the needle dug in again. His head sank forward, his stomach doing somersaults. He wanting to puke. He wanted to sleep.

A pillow caught him and he sighed against it's warmth.

He belatedly realized that there were no pillows and he had buried his face into Rick's shoulder. He gave a small moan of protest, trying to pull himself back. His stomach gurgled and salty bile filled his mouth. Damn Strawberry. Disgusting. He didn't want to puke, but maybe if would be worth while if it were all over Rick.

Another searing prick radiated from the needle driving into him.

"Done." Gabriel breathed out finally.

Gareth felt Rick let go of his iron grip on his arm and hand. Suddenly Rick was gone as he rocked back onto his heels, wiping away at the blood covering one of his hands. Gareth almost fell forward, but caught himself just in time to prevent doing a rather spectacular face plant. Gabriel's soothing hand holding his shoulder also helped to steady him.

"Why?" Gareth's question made all of them pause, "Why are you doing this? Helping me?"

He looked from Gabriel quiet face to Rick's.

"Just rest," Gabriel carefully avoided answering.

Rick didn't answer. The older man didn't say anything, just rounded on his heel and left.

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><p>Gareth awoke later to his left hand completely bandaged, his right hand hanging awkwardly from the handcuff clasped firmly around his wrist. The closet door was slightly ajar and Gareth couldn't hear any movement or voice beyond it. Looking around at his new home, he spied the glass of water, still half full, and the other nutrition bar.<p>

Gareth's mouth was raw and dry. He grabbed the water and downed it in two large gulps. It probably wasn't the smartest thing to do, he thought retrospectively, but he didn't care. He was in the middle of eating the bar when he heard footsteps outside. He looked up to see Rick, his face tired but fierce.

Without another word, he pulled out a key from his pocket, reached down and unlocked the handcuffs. Gareth paused before pulling his wrist away and rotating it around and massaging it with his left thumb carefully.

Up." The single worded command cut through the silence.

"Why?"

"Up." It was lower, more deadly.

"No." Gareth squinted his eyes and pursed his lips stubbornly.

Rick hooked a hand under Gareth's armpit, yanking mercilessly, so Gareth had no choice but to rise. His feet scrambled underneath him; he managed to find his footing just in time to escape embarrassment. Rick immediately started dragging Gareth out of the pantry. At first the captive went quietly, but his gut told him not to so he dug in his heels.

"What are you going to do with me?" Gareth had a nagging feeling that Rick was done humoring Father Gabriel. "You finally going to kill me?"

Rick looked Gareth up and down slowly. "No." He spat, and Gareth could see that Rick wanted nothing more than to say yes.

When Rick tried to grab Gareth again, the younger man jerked away but held up his hands. "I'll go with you then. Just don't drag me."

Rick shuffled angrily, but nodded his head. "Outside."

Gareth led the way solemnly, walking down the center of the church towards the front doors. Only Sasha was inside, sitting in a pew with Judith wrapped lovingly in her arms. The moment she saw Gareth, she flew to her feet, eyes wide and angry.

"What are you doing?" She demanded.

"He's gonna help Tyreese." Rick said matter-o-factly.

Sasha frowned slightly and shook her head in disgust. "Just get him out of my sight Rick, please."

Gareth just continued walking, giving her a wink before leaving the large apex-ed worship hall. He pushed open the heavy wooden doors and stepped outside. A clean breeze swept through his tousled brown hair and Gareth breathed in in sharply. It was late afternoon, but the sun wouldn't be setting for another two hours or so.

Gareth looking around, simply taking in his situation. He saw Carl disappear around one of the corners of the church, probably doing his own teenage boy thing. Off in the distance, Gareth saw a solitary figure with a shovel, a shallow hole in front of them indicating they had just started digging.

Gareth then realized that it was Tyreese and that there was a body next to him.

Bob's body.

Everything clicked and Gareth figured out why he had been summoned from his comfortable pantry.

"I can't dig his grave Rick. My hand..."

Rick just gave him a push to continue walking. "Oh, you'll dig alright." He then raised his voice, calling out to the large man they were headed towards.

"Tyreese. Let him do it."

Tyreese looked up, taking in the two men headed towards him.

"It's fine," Tyreese said, shrugging, "Besides his hand. He wont be able to."

"He'll dig the grave or I'll shoot him. Hand him the shovel."

"Rick-"

"Tyreese." Rick's tone left no room for negotiation. Tyreese sighed and handed over the shovel slowly.

"Thanks!" Gareth said cheerfully, faking a smile.

"Now dig."

"How deep?"

"Until I say stop." Rick's icy blue gaze was uncomfortably piercing. Gareth truly hated this man.

Gareth sighed. He held the shovel awkwardly in his hands, his injured hand unable to properly grip the shovel. He could feel the stitches stretching painfully and hoped he wouldn't pull any of them loose. The young captive gave Rick once last loathing look before scooping out a small pile of dirt from the hole. Thankfully Tyreese had already broken the ground for him, the huge man's strength loosening up several inches of dirt.

The sun slowly started setting, marking the time Gareth spent laboring away. His shirt was quickly soaked with grime and sweat, his long hair sticking to his forehead and neck. His injured hand ached in pain and made the whole process take much longer than it should have. Soon Gareth was standing in the middle of human sized hole about two feet deep.

Gareth looked up suddenly just in time to see Gabriel race down the steps of the church toward them.

"What is going on!?" Father Gabriel exclaimed worriedly. Gareth almost laughed. He's worried about a cannibal.

Rick didn't even turn to acknowledge him. "He's digging a grave for Bob."

Gabriel shook his head, "He is injured and has been unconscious for a good part of the day."

Gareth finally did give a small laugh, his arms aching. It was hard to get a good grip on the shovel because his hands where so sweaty, filled with splinters and covered in forming blisters. His head was beginning to swim in circles.

"Man, I wouldn't get involved," Tyreese said, trying to keep the situation from escalating. Always the peace keeper.

"Rick please, let him rest. Once he is stronger, he can dig all the graves you want." Gabriel's high voice was getting shriller. "Look at him Rick, he's about to pass out. Have you given him any water?"

Gareth paused for a moment leaning heavily on the shovel and looking up at the three men.

"To be quite honest I've never have more fun." His smile was forced and sloppy. Why wouldn't everything just stay still. He couldn't fucking focus. Then without warning, he leaned over and vomited the meager entirety of his stomach contents out all over the ground in front of him. He gasped for air as he body continued to dry heave. He dazedly wiped the spittle from his lips.

"Ok, that's enough. Please let him stop." Gabriel almost sounded firm. Almost.

"No." Rick gravely voice was hard.

"Rick.." Tyreese spoke up quietly, "Maybe just a break. Or I could finish it. I wouldn't mind."

"There you go," Gabriel sounded victorious, "Tyreese can dig Bob's grave."

"I said no!"

Their voices grew louder and Gareth's vision kept swimming. He stumbled slightly, the shovel the only thing keeping him from going headlong into the dirt, but his grip on it was rapidly giving way.

"I-" Gareth felt his knees buckle and he fell straight into his freshly dug grave.

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><p>Please review. Thanks!<p> 


	3. Chapter 3 - Starting Somewhere

I am so humbled by the love this story is receiving. I didn't know if people would be on board or not. Thanks a million times to everyone who reviewed, favorited, followed, or just read. =D

Yea, I know I said Mon-Wed for updates, I think I'll change that to Sun-Wed. I like Sundays, it's TWD Day.

So this is a Rick POV. I debated a long time before settling on writing multiple POVs, it just seemed to give me better flexibility with the story. That said, Rick is WAAAAY harder to write from than Gareth is, holy canoli! I think it's because I love my villains. I find I can relate easier to them. Is that weird? Crazy? Don't answer that.

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><p>Chapter 3 - Starting Somewhere<p>

Rick looked down at the sprawled out body with indifference. It fit perfectly in the large hole before him, one arm pinned awkwardly beneath him and the other, the one with the injured hand, flung out to the side. Rick stepped gingerly into the grave and flipped Gareth over. The other man's chest rose and fell, abate shallowly as Rick watched. His eyes flicked over Gareth's face and for the first time Rick realized just how young Gareth was. He was probably in his mid twenties, couldn't be anywhere near 30. For a brief second Rick thought of Carl, of that period of time when he had been worried about what kind of man Carl would become. A sick feeling washed over him as he envisioned Carl's future, had Hershel not intervened, looking a lot like the man now unconscious in the grave before him. Before Rick could realize how wrong it was, he felt the faintest stab of sadness.

And then it was gone. Rick would not feel remorse, not for him.

Gabriel knelt down next to Gareth hurriedly, examining him with furtive hands.

"Just passed out," Rick himself could hear the detached note in his words.

Gabriel gave him an angry look, but before he could meet Rick's eyes he looked back down.

_He has got to be one of the most non-confrontational men I have ever met._ Rick doubted Father Gabriel could do what needed to be done in this world. No. He knew the priest couldn't. The one and only time he had shown any sort of backbone had been to save an enemy; a man who would have killed him, and _eaten _him, without giving it a second thought.

Rick could not understand how Gabriel could be so ridiculously foolish.

The only reason he tolerated it was because he knew that Gareth was a dead man walking and that Rick could put him down at any point. Rick also wanted to see how long it took before Gabriel realized there was no saving the cannibal. He was too far gone.

"Go ahead Father," Rick stepped back out of the grave, motioning for Gabriel to pick Gareth up and carry him back to the church. He had done the same thing earlier, making the priest drag Gareth's lifeless body to that pantry right after the church massacre. Gabriel had struggled then and that was barely fifty feet. It was at least a hundred from the grave to the front steps of the priest's beloved church.

Gabriel's face was covered in astonishment. And exhaustion.

"He is your charge."

Gabriel didn't argue, he knew it would all be for nothing. So he reached under Gareth's arms, wrapping his own arms tightly around Gareth's chest and began pulling him up and out of the shallow pit. He almost fell a couple times, but managed. However, he barely got ten feet before he stumbled and fell, Gareth's dead wight bringing them down like a rock. He pushed himself back up panting.

"Look, I know that he is mine to take care of, but you did this to him. Made him come out here, injured and dehydrated to dig graves when Tyreese was perfectly able. You are responsible for this. So please help me." The priest's fragile voice was pleading now.

Rick paused for a moment but then nodded in agreement.

"Ok, fine."

In one swift move he reached down, grabbed Gareth securely, and then slung him unceremoniously over his shoulder. Gareth was as surprisingly light as he was young, which made Rick all the more doubtful about the priest's ability to actually survive in this world. He sighed as he made his way up the steps of the church.

Maybe letting Gabriel keep Gareth, seeing how far the timid man could go, was a mistake.

" _You made me a promise, now Ill make you one. I will not do anything stupid." _

Gareth would kill Gabriel the first chance he got.

Rick would have to kill Gareth before that happened.

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><p>"You shouldn't have spared him." Carl's angry words rang with truth. Rick knew it. His son had been silently raging the entire day, avoiding Rick and Gabriel. Every conversation that had even hinted at the captive, Carl had immediately shut down and stomped off. Michonne had tried to soothe the boy, but he had given her the cold shoulder as well. That's how Rick knew that Carl's anger was genuine and not some teenage angst. Michonne had a way with Carl, a way that Rick was both grateful for and jealous of.<p>

He looked over at said woman, standing nearby. She was turned sideways between the two Grimes males, as if acting like a referee. She gave Rick a small but meaningful smile, but the look in her eyes sang a different tune.

"Why? Why are you helping him?" Rick paused, the boy's question eerily mirroring Gareth's earlier question. To be honest, Rick had yet to come up with a good answer. As he stared out at the small clearing in front of the church he caught sight of Bob's grave, a small cross erected over top of it. Sasha sat in the billowing grass next to it, knees tucked under her chin.

"Just tired of digging graves, Carl." Rick sighed.

Carl just rolled his eyes and moodily stomped off yet another time, once again reminding Rick just how young Carl was. His poor son, forced to grow up so fast. Rick's heart gave a guilt filled flutter as he thought of Judith. The poor girl was doomed to know nothing but this life. His precious baby girl.

Rick closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. A nervous habit, born of stress and frustration. He was tired. Sometimes Rick just wanted it all to end, to opt out. He thought back to Dr. Jenner at the CDC, so long ago now, and wondered if maybe it would have actually been better if they had never left that place. At the time, Rick had hope that there was a safe place somewhere, or that someone had found a cure. As much as he knew they would probably die, he had hope. That hope was gone now, but for some reason he was still going. Still fighting. Why?

He opened his eyes and looked up suddenly. Michonne was still there. She remained silent, recognizing Rick's need to sort things out in his head. Over the past few months, Carl was not the only one that Michonne had been there for. Rick and the sword wielder had become each others touchstone, she was a Carol to his own Daryl for lack of a better comparison. Rick knew that there was potential for something more under their deep friendship, however, he refused to move on it. Rick was not willing to risk ruining their bond over something that might or might not be possible. Who's to say that it would work between them, especially in these crazy times? Michonne seemed to feel the same and understood his unspoken words. Neither of them were ready for that kind of a relationship anyways, if _that_ was what this even was between them.

After another few seconds, she finally spoke.

"I think I'm tired too. We _could_ say no more killing, but-" The look on her face told how much she knew that to be impossible, "Need to start somewhere."

Rick squinted, trying to decipher the dark woman's normally unreadable face.

"But is it wise to start with him?" Michonne nodded her head sideways slowly towards the church where Gareth laid in his pantry, once again handcuffed to the metal racks.

"I dunno." Rick replied honestly. He didn't know what else to say.

* * *

><p>Judith cooed gently in Rick's arms, one hand clutching his tattered jacket tightly and the other jammed into her mouth. She chewed on it and continued cooing happily, drool dripping down her hand. Rick bounced her up and down and he walked around, carrying her from room to room as if taking her on a tour of the church. All the while, Rick carefully thought about his current situation and his options. He finally came into Gabriel's office, the priest sitting on his couch reading a book. He looked up and smiled when Rick walked in. Nobody put a smile on anyone's face quite like Judith did.<p>

"Well Father, I've been thinking that you might come with us when Carol and Daryl get back."

Gabriel gave Rick and curious, yet bewildered look. "Why?"

"Well, you're all out of food here and obviously don't know how to handle the walkers. Plus we're going to Washington to end this thing. A man like you should be a part of that." He gave Gabriel a small smile.

Gabriel met his smile, but shook his head a little, "I-"

"We could protect you." Rick couldn't risk no for an answer.

"Don't let him fool you Father," An all too casual voice sounded from the pantry. Rick's neck hairs stood on end, "He doesn't care about you. He wants to keep an eye on me because he doesn't trust you to kill me if I try to escape."

_Son of a bitch..._

Rick whipped around, glaring into the small closet area and its occupant. Gareth sat there, a pleased look spreading from every corner of his face, and Rick mentally cursed him in every way possible. Gareth was smart, maybe even smarter than Rick to see through him so clearly. It made Rick uneasy how quickly Gareth had deduced his plan, but Rick had thought of every other option and this was the only one that the leader could see without more of his family dying. Rick would not even consider letting Gareth come with them except for the fact that it was actually the safest place for Rick to keep him. In plain sight. Keep your friends close and enemies closer and all that crap.

Rick scoffed quietly and looked back at Gabriel. The priest was looking down, a disappointed look on his face

"I think we will just stay here."

Rick balled one fist angrily. "You have no choice in the matter. Either both of you come with me or I kill him and you can stay here to die alone. You have until the rest of my family gets back to decide."

He gave Gareth one last heated look before leaving the room. The young man's slender frame sprawled out as if he didn't have a care in the world; he just winked, smile as black and evil as any devil.

* * *

><p>"Rick!" Michonne sounded uneasy, which made Rick uneasy. "Rick!"<p>

Rick stood and turned towards the front doors of the church just in time to see her come bounding through the one that she had propped open earlier. Michonne sure did like her night time strolls. It was who came running in behind her that had him pause, but only for a second. A large smile spread across Rick's face.

"Daryl." He walked forward and tightly embraced the other man. His brother.

Out of the corner of his eye a figure moved. It was coming up fast behind Daryl and Rick reached for his gun reflexively. It was a teenage boy with dark skin and wide eyes. Rick immediately noticed that he walked with a slight limp. Daryl cautiously touched Rick's right arm, staying his gun hand.

"This is Noah. He escaped from some nutjob in a hospital in Atlanta." Daryl's eyes looked troubled and Rick could tell something was making him uncomfortable. "Rick, he was there with Beth."

Rick couldn't help his sharp intake of breath. Beth.

He hadn't seen the younger Greene sister since the fall of the prison. He remembered her beautiful, kind face. Her voice and how she would sing for everyone. When the prison fell, Beth and Daryl had escaped together. The redneck had been devastated when Beth had been taken, deeply depressed ever since he and Rick had found each other again. Carol had helped with that and Rick was glad.

He then noticed that the silver haired woman was not present.

Rick couldn't stop the feeling of uncontrolled dread that spread to every crevice of his body. It felt as if his stomach had fallen straight out of his body and splattered upon the floor.

"Where's Carol?"

* * *

><p>Now I promise you these two will get together eventually. But you gotta admit, there's a lot of ground to cover before that. I hope you guys don't mind.<p>

Thanks for reading. Please review.


	4. Chapter 4 - Nobody's Comin'

Hello all

These next two chapters will be a little different from the rest. Since Rick and Gareth are separated, this chapter and the next chapter will essentially take place at the same time, but Rick's will be of the rescue in Atlanta nd Gareth's (next chapter) will be whats happening at the the church. I already have them both written so I will be updating this again on Wednesday with Gareth's POV.

Also, I have decided to not wait for the show, so here it goes, forging ahead with my own game plan. I hope you guys like it.

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><p>Chapter 4 - Nobody's Comin'<p>

Atlanta was almost deserted. With no fresh meat left in the city walkers had apparently left in droves, creating the massive herds that Rick had been trying so hard to steer clear of. Of course there were still several stray dead that mulled around aimlessly through the quiet streets, but they were nothing that Rick could not handle. He kept his group close, none of them more than ten feet from another member.

_Carl, Michonne, Daryl, Sasha. We need to save Beth and Carol... we have to...  
><em>

Rick went over it again in his head.

_Carl, Michonne, Daryl, Sasha._

Tyreese had wanted to come, but Rick needed him to stay behind to watch Judith, especially with their new guest haunting them. He did not trust Gabriel to do what needed to be done if Gareth made a move. Rick's thoughts wandered back to the church and he wondered if he had made the right choice. The entire group had gathered in Gabriel's office as word got around that Daryl had returned. Gareth listened silently to their plans from his little corner, but once Rick started making preparations to leave he had made a fuss about being semi-permanently attached to the pantry.

_"What if I have to take a piss?"_

Rick had reluctantly moved the handcuff from the metal shelf to Gareth's other wrist, the one with the bad hand, so that Gareth was able to leave the room. After growling some threats about leaving it without permission, he tightened the handcuffs to what must have been extremely uncomfortable and then made sure to show Gareth the only key going straight into his back pocket.

Had he made the right choice?

And then there was Noah, who he had just met. The boy seemed harmless and good-hearted, but could the crippled youth carry his own weight? Rick had let Noah keep his firearm and two full magazines of bullets, all of which the youth had found while making his way out of Atlanta with Daryl. These days, Rick had to just deal with the cards he was dealt. He brought himself back to the present, hand wrapped around his gun handle like an anchor to reality. He couldn't afford to not be here.

Not now.

And he knew that Tyreese would die before he let anything happen to Judith.

Daryl led the way, crossbow aimed at the ready. The tracker seemed sure of his path as he continued steadily in a straight southeasterly direction. Rick did not know which hospital Beth and Carol were being held at so he trusted Daryl to show the way.

It wasn't long before Daryl ducked into a narrow alleyway and stopped.

"Hospital's just around this corner and straight up the street a ways. They got a lookout on the roof, but that's it."

Rick nodded, thinking. "Let's get to the roof of one of the buildings next to it and see what we can find out."

The group moved as one down the street, slipping from alley to enclave as quickly and quietly as they could. The hospital had more people and a pretty fortified position so Rick knew that their only advantage was that of surprise. As much as he wanted to, he could not count on Beth or Carol being in any situation to help him. Rick just prayed that they were ok.

Once they came to a tall building that Rick liked, he motioned for them to follow. The group single filed their way down another alley to the fire escape. The five survivors all looked up at the same time, almost dizzied by the height they would have to climb. The building had to be at least seven stories tall.

"Sasha, Michonne, Carl, stay on the first or second level. Daryl," The looked over at Daryl, sighing deeply. He did not have to explain. They were going all the way to the top.

* * *

><p>Rick peered carefully over the edge. He could clearly see the white compound before him, the main complex about five stories tall with taller portions of varying heights intermingled together. It was not a huge hospital, but large enough to safely harbor an untold number of things Rick did not want to be surprised by. A single guard casually strolled around on the highest portion of the roof. By his easy manner though, Rick could tell he was just a formality and he felt a surge of what he could only describe as excitement. These people had no idea what they were in for.<p>

Daryl gave a sudden gasp, his sharp intake of air making Rick hunker down even lower.

He then spotted what had caught Daryl's eye.

Beth.

There she was. Standing next to what looked like a small potted garden placed on a large flat expanse of the roof. Rick could see her clearly and for a moment he almost worried that maybe they were too close. He chanced a quick peek at the lookout only to see him heading over to the far side of the hospital, back turned towards them. Acting purely on instinct, Rick suddenly jumped up without a word and started waving his arms. Daryl only gave him a confused look before shaking his head and standing up as well. Neither one of them making a sound, both men waved their arms wildly, trying to get the young woman's attention.

Beth stared vacantly off into the distance. Rick waved harder, knowing that time was against them.

He watched her eyes slide slowly into focus as she stared at them, a look of wild amazement filling her beautiful face. She was smiling now. Rick and Daryl stopped waving, neither one knowing what to do next.

Beth held up one hand, giving them a motion to wait one second before turning on her heel and sprinting back inside.

"Quick Daryl, find something we can write on!"

Daryl scrambled down the roof access stairs nearby as Rick continued scouting out the hospital. He carefully memorized everything he could about it, the shape, how many stories for each portion, all while keeping an eye on the lookout as he rounded back to the front of the hospital. Rick made sure he stayed low as the guard lazily scanned over him.

Daryl actually came back before Beth, a large card board box jammed under one arm, trusty crossbow held in the other, and a black Sharpie marker in his mouth.

After a minute of tense nothingness, the guard walked away again and Beth stealthily reappeared with one of the thin paper mats that were normally laid on exam tables. The girl checked on the guard carefully before kneeling down and covering her hands in some of the potting soil. Rick and Daryl waited patiently as she frantically smeared dirt onto the thin sheet of paper.

At long last she held it up.

_1 FL _(A down arrow)_ Walkers! 2 FL _(An up arrow)_ SAFE!_

_8 Cops. Doc=Coward. C HURT! 4 FL  
><em>

Rick took in the message carefully before taking the sharpie into his hand. Carol was alive but just barely. Daryl was agitated; Rick could tell by the way he alternated between watching Rick write, giving Beth nervous glances, and keeping an eye on that guard that would be back any second now. Rick flipped over the cardboard box to write on the other side. Time was never his friend.

Finally he held up his answer, hoping like hell that no one in the hospital felt like looking out a window to enjoy the scenery.

FREE WALKERS

CAPTURE DOC

Beth seemed unsure, but nodded. Rick whipped it around so Beth could read the other side.

GUARD CAROL

WE COME 2 U

He watched as Beth then raced over to a barrel of collected rain water and shoved the thin paper deep into it, disintegrating her message and washing her hands at the same time. She was just barely able to get this done before both the roof guard returned and a cop, a female with an immaculate bun, pushed open the roof access door and caught sight of Beth. Rick watched, breath practically frozen in his chest as Beth exchanged words with the female cop and then followed her back into the hospital.

* * *

><p>Patience had never really been Rick's best quality. He looked on with bated breath, gun already out and ready. Daryl and Sasha were next to him, both pressed against the car they were using for cover while Michonne and Carl hovered about twenty feet away in a small store entryway niche. The group had crept ever so slowly closer and closer to the hospital, silently waiting to pounce.<p>

_Come on Beth..._

"She'll do it," Daryl's rugged voice whispered, the hardness of his voice giving Rick hope, "She will."

Rick hoped Daryl was right. He would give the young woman ten more minutes before he made his own move, with or without her inside help.

As if on cue, a scream broke out, followed by a shot from inside the hospital. The all looked up. It was coming from the second floor. Rick did not wait, he just acted, springing from his hiding place and running forward to hug the side of the hospital. His group followed as they sprinted the perimeter and looked for an entry point. It wasn't long before they found a busted out window and slipped effortlessly inside. Rick knew from his scouting that they were at the far edge of the main complex and the fire exit was just a little ways to their left, its outside exit on the first floor had been blocked off tightly, but he guessed the inside was still accessible. If so, the stairs would make it easy for them to get to the entire main portion of the huge building and would lead them straight to the fourth floor.

They did not meet any walkers on the short distance to the fire exit, but they heard the shooting as it got more and more frantic. Eight cops. Rick needed them to use up their ammo before he got to them, as well as take out as many of the walkers as possible. He wrenched open the door to the stairs and held it as the others sprinted forward, Daryl leading the way now as he took the stairs two at a time. As they passed the door to the third floor, more shooting broke out, a woman was screaming loudly. The door burst open and said screaming woman stumbled out, dressed in scrubs. Rick caught sight of a hallway, cops and walkers and civilians, complete pandemonium, before looking back at the woman who had joined them on the stairs. Her arm and shoulder was a huge mangled mass of bites.

Rick sighed and without hesitation shot her once in the head.

Mere seconds later they came to the fourth floor. This floor was quieter since the walkers had not gotten to it yet. It actually seemed mostly deserted and Rick figured that most of the people had been on the second and third floors when Beth had released the walkers.

"BETH!" Daryl called loudly. Rick was almost about to tell him off, but realized that at this point it did not really matter.

They came to the end of the hallway and rounded a corner. Michonne was the first to see Beth's head, long blonde hair swinging from a ponytail, as the young woman stuck it out of one of the rooms. Daryl led the sprint towards her, a hand stretching out to grasp one of her shoulders securely, before disappearing through the doorway.

"Carl, Sasha, keep watch." Rick bellowed as he followed Daryl into the room, Michonne on his heels. The first thing Rick saw he he entered the room was Carol sprawled out on a hospital bed unconscious. She had several bandages and IVs, causing Rick's stomach to clench up into his chest. He briefly caught sight of a bearded man with glasses and a white lab coat hunched over in chair in the corner. Rick guessed he was the doctor.

"Most of them were at the cafeteria on the third floor getting lunch." Beth started as she made her way to Rick's side. Rick looked at her with a smile and gave her a quick one armed hug. He had thought her lost and there she was in front of him, a little banged up, but alive and fighting.

He brought his eyes back over to Carol and that triumphant happiness fell short. He paused before walking pointedly over to the doctor, his face set to cold malice.

"Rick." Beth began, but he held up a hand to quiet her.

"How is she?" Rick asked, giving the barest of nods to the silver haired woman laying on the table.

The doctor pushed at his glasses and licked his lips nervously before beginning. "I promise you, I've done all that I can for her. She's just lost a lot of blood and my resources are very limited."

It was then that Rick noticed the doctors bloody collar. He froze, eyes narrowing suspiciously. Beth came forward again, voice quiet.

"I tried to keep him safe..." She started. Rick reached up and peeled back the lab coat, exposing a single shallow bite where the doctor's neck met his shoulder. "I'm sorry Rick. I tried."

Rick released the lab coat and wiped his hand on his pants, thinking quickly. Finally he spoke, staring the doctor in the eyes.

"You come with us and continue to do what you can for her as we get out of the city... and I'll end it for you once we're clear. Quick and painless." Rick told the doctor evenly. The man, Rick did not even know his name, gave a sob, hands running desperately through his hair. "You've seen it doc, right? The fever and the pain, and only to come back as one of them. I won't let that happen if you help us get her out of here and do what you can to save her. You can die with dignity on your own terms."

Rick remembered that Beth had said he was a coward. He certainly seemed like one, whimpering and crying, but he nodded.

"Ok." He said finally. "There's car keys in Dawn's office." He looked up at Beth, as if she knew what he meant. Rick nodded. "Daryl, Beth, Sasha, go get the keys. Carl, Michonne, help the doctor collect supplies. Just the basics doc, we gotta be fast. Is there a stretcher nearby?"

The doctor nodded. Suddenly shots rang out on close by, as if on the same floor, and they all froze, staring at each other with wide eyes.

"GO!" Rick yelled and they all sprang into action. Daryl, Beth and Sasha clambered back out the door as the doctor started pulling a stretcher from behind one of the medical storage cabinets. Rick went over to help him yank it free as the doctor turned to Carl, nodding over to a counter covered in medical supplies. "There's a bag under that cabinet. Pull it out and just toss everything on that counter into it. Then pull open the left cabinet and empty it." He turned to Michonne. "Unhook all the IV bags and just hold them up. We'll lay them next to her on the stretcher. "

They had Carol ready to go and were carrying her out the door when the others reappeared, Beth clenching several keys in one hand. However as she rounded the corner and looked up, she froze. Daryl, who was right behind her, lifted up his crossbow and aimed it dangerously. Rick followed to where they were looking to see a female cop, covered in blood and hair messily falling into her eyes, with her gun aimed straight at Beth.

"Dawn," Beth breathed.

"What have you done Beth?" The cop, Dawn, hissed, "What we had here was working. We were surviving until they come to _save_ us!" She pulled back the hammer of her gun and snaked her finger over the trigger.

An arrow suddenly pierced her right eye, point plowing through her brain to poke of the back of her skull.

Everybody stared at Daryl in emotionless acceptance. His face was cool and calm, his voice a raspy whisper, "Nobody's comin' to save you."

* * *

><p>Rick looked into the rear view mirror, eying the doctor with a guarded look. The other man was already beginning to sweat and his face was screwed up in pain. Dizziness and fatigue were making him slow.<p>

Carl sat in the passenger seat, quietly watching Atlanta disappear behind them. Michonne was in the back of the hearse with Carol and the doctor, watching him work and holding Carol's hand tightly. Daryl, Beth, and Sasha drove the other car ahead of them, a black four door sedan. Both cars happened to be the first that they could find the matching keys for and thankfully Dawn was efficient, keeping a full tank of gas in them.

After Atlanta was long gone in their mirrors, the envoy pulled over on a deserted back road.

They all got out and crowded around the front of the hearse and Rick felt their eyes all watching him, looking for guidance. He turned to the doctor. "Well Doc?"

"She's stable, but it's still a hard call." The sweat was now pouring down his brow and he leaned against the car heavily. Rick could tell he did not have much time left. Rick nodded and then motioned for him to join him away from the rest of the group. The doctor followed immediately and Rick could tell that he had not yet realized what Rick was going to do next. They walked off a little ways, just to a brush covered area out of sight.

The sun shone down, warm and peaceful.

Rick pulled his gun and turned around to face the doctor.

He watched as the other man froze, eyes widening and lip quivering. He was in pain and they both knew it would only get worse. Rick felt the doctor's regret and sadness as his own. It was Rick's greatest asset, yet at times his greatest weakness. His empathy and compassion for those in need. This man in front of him was simply trying to survive, just like the rest of them.

_Surviving..._

"What's your name?" Rick asked.

"Steven." Came the quiet reply, "Dr. Steven Edwards."

"Well Steven," Rick raised his gun, "I hope you find peace on the other side."

Rick pulled the trigger. He watched as the figure in front of him crumpled.

It was a long time before he walked back around the brush and without a word he got into the hearse. The group followed silently.

Rick turned the ignition and put the car in drive.

He never looked back.

* * *

><p><strong>IMPORTANT NOTE:<strong> So in reading other fics, I have seen that many authors reply to reviews before or after their chapter. I did not know this was a thing so I want you all to know that from now on I will reply to all reviews at the end of each chapter. Sorry I wasn't earlier. Drop me a line and tell me what you think.

Feathered Filly - Thank you for your time, even if you are not interested in slash. I hope you'll still give this a shot.

rocknrollprincess131 - You're awesome thank you so much for sticking with me! I was so sad/mad at that church scene that I just had to write this. That being said, this is not my first fanfic, just my first WD fic. I actually mainly do original work, but love WD SOOO much I got back into fanfic-ing. I also felt really bad for Gareth, I just knew that he had not made his decisions lightly and had lost everything he loved.

Guest - I'm glad you're enjoying it. Thanks for reviewing.

Sue - That was the reason I originally starting writing this, because there were none! Hahaha

Z - I am trying my darndest to keep them in character. Rick is SO ridiculously hard to write from though... grr...

AnonymousGamer - I really love the slow builds as well. I hate when people slash stuff just to make guys fuck. I can't even begin to count all the times I've clicked on something I want to be promising and the characters are screwing by chapter 3/4. Like... ok... if I want porn I'll go somewhere else...

Guest 2 - I felt so bad for Gareth too. Thanks for reviewing!

Trixiibell - I have gotten some of your comments on walkingdeadfanfiction i believe. Thank you for reviewing so much and I am glad you are loving the story. I love writing Gareth and letting you all read it.

Reda - I'm so happy to be back! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!

HunterArk - SO happy you're enjoying it. I'm writing as fast as I can! =D

kingcarlgrimes - I just adore Gareth in general! What is ao3?

So yeah, PLEASE let me know what you guys think! I look forward to reviews and feedback.

I already have the next chapter completely done so I will post it one Wednesday or Thursday.


	5. Chapter 5 - Ghost

Gareth's POV. This had gotta be my fav chapter so far. ;)

* * *

><p>Chapter 5 - Ghost<p>

He could hear the yelling. And the telltale moans.

Gareth did not know what was happening from his little closeted corner of the world, but it did not sound good. Sudden panicked screaming and scraping and the sound of running boots. All surrounded by dead listless moaning and the steady shuffling of endless feet. Through the office doorway, Gabriel appeared with Noah in tow, both breathing heavily. Fear dominated their faces, making Gareth uneasy.

"What happened?" Gareth snapped, walking out of the pantry. He was so sick of looking at its four walls that he did not even care if he was disobeying Rick's very firm order to stay put.

"We didn't even see them until it was too late." Noah mumbled dazedly. Both of them continued to stare in the direction of Gabriel's office door.

"Th-the walkers. They … they came out of the woods and-" Gabriel sputtered, pointing uselessly out of his office into the main part of the church as if Gareth could magically see it. "I couldn't get the doors closed in time."

Coldness suddenly clenched Gareth's stomach and twisted mercilessly.

The piercing scream of a baby suddenly sounded and all three of them turned to watch as Tyreese came barreling through the door, Judith wrapped firmly in one arm. Gareth barely caught sight of the walkers, all mangled twisting limbs and rotted skin before Tyreese slammed the door firmly closed.

"Oh shit." Noah exclaimed loudly. "What are we going to do? They're going to tear down that door you know."

As if to confirm his point the door suddenly gave a loud bang as the dead slammed against it. Gareth heard the wood creak. Judith gave another frantic wail and clutched to Tyreese. Tears were beginning to roll down her little face.

"What do we do? What do we do? WHAT DO WE DO?!" Noah yelled. Gabriel just hunched on his couch, hands mashed together in prayer, with his eyes squeezed tightly shut. They all seemed frozen. Even Tyreese seemed at a loss as he tried desperately to quiet Judith. The little girl was having none of it, clearly overwhelmed and scared.

Gareth gave an aggravated huff. "Have to do everything myself."

Gareth marched over to were Noah was standing, grabbed him by the arm, and began yanking him across the room. Gabriel looked up as the two younger men came pointedly in his direction, Gareth practically dragging Noah behind him. Gareth paid him no mind, his eyes fixed on the window behind the couch. Both men watched as he leaned over it and firmly grabbed the bottom edge of the window and yanked it up, opening said window completely.

Without another word he shoved Noah out the window.

Gabriel barely registered what Gareth was doing as he was then grabbed pushed through the window too, the captive not waiting for any sort of cooperation while doing it. The priest disappeared through the window with a yelp. Gareth only paused for a second, looking to see if Tyreese was following, before he swung one leg over the ledge. The brown haired man mentally cursed as he tried to get a good grip on _something_ so he would not hurt himself, but between missing two fingers and the handcuffs, he was kind of screwed.

"You could have just asked!" Noah barked angrily as Gareth clumsily lowered himself out of the window. He caught sight of Tyreese making his way over before hitting the ground.

"Noah." Tyreese called, "Here!" He handed Judith to the youth before clambering out the window himself. The poor man was so huge that he barely fit.

"Oh Dearest God!" Gabriel exclaimed, pointing once again. All four men looked on with uncontrolled fear as walkers came shambling around one corner of the church, drawn over by Judith's high pitched wails.

"GO!" Tyreese bellowed, yanking his hammer from his belt. He sprinted towards the dead with it raised, "GOOO!"

None of them needed to be told twice. With Judith howling at the top of her lungs, the priest, the crippled youth, and the handcuffed captive all turned and ran.

* * *

><p>"Just shut her up!" Gareth wanted nothing more than to just run away and leave these morons and their damn screeching baby to themselves. Or kill all of them. Either option was both possible and welcome at this point. However, that jackass former cop would hunt him to the ends of the Earth if anything happened to said screeching little angel and moreover, that cop had the only key to his infernal handcuffs. Gareth might have been able to pick them, or break them, or find another key, but how long until then? He could not risk it.<p>

"She won't!" Noah cried as if he himself were a kid. He looked hopeless and frustrated.

"Just-" Gareth grumbled, "Put your hand over her mouth."

"What?" Noah snapped back, "You want me to suffocate her?!"

Gareth threw his hands in the air and gave a primal growl of uncontrollable irritation. He was rapidly loosing patience, handcuffs and eternal man hunting be damned. Sudden rustling from the woods abruptly caught their attention. The hairs on the back of Gareth's neck stood at attention as the familiar moaning filled his ears. Walkers came shambling at them from their left, once again drawn in by Judith's crying.

"This is why babies in the zombie apocalypse are a _bad idea_!" Gareth was furious. Noah didn't answer he just handed the upset Judith to Father Gabriel, pulled his gun and started shooting. Gareth could tell immediately that there were too many of them, even if Noah head-shotted every single one, which he wasn't. The boy was actually a terrible shot. Groaning sounded from behind them and Gareth turned to see more walkers making their way through the woods towards them.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

_Shit... Shit. Shit! SHIT!_

Noah turned to hit some on his left and turned again to shoot at the zombies that were behind them. The dead were closing in and it seemed like they all knew it. Noah was frantically pumping the trigger of the gun, trying to get as many as possible.

Time almost halted.

Gareth then watched in slow motion as Noah shot the last bullet in his magazine, the slide of his gun locking back with a load PING! He watched as Gabriel jerked, the bicep of his free arm exploding in red, a walker a few feet behind him. The priest went down, twisting so he would not fall on Judith, his eyes wide with shock and pain.

"Oh God!" Noah exclaimed, "I didn't mean-"

Gareth rushed forward, kicking the dead one, a woman, squarely in her chest. She flopped gracelessly to the ground and Gareth brought his foot back up and stomped as hard as he could on her face. Her skull spurted outwards in a million different pieces. He turned to see Noah rush over to were the priest was writhing on the ground in pain.

"I'm sorry. It was behind you-... I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." His chant was so desperate that Gareth felt a twang a sympathy. He marched over and yanked the gun away from Noah.

"Your knife and other magazine. Now." Gareth's tone left no doubt that he was to be obeyed. He was in charge now.

Noah was so shocked that he handed both over with a dazed look. When he had surrendered both he pulled Gabriel up and tried to help him cover his injured arm. Blood was dripping from between their fingers and oozing its way down to Father Gabriel's elbow. Judith was screaming louder than ever.

Gareth looked at the gun and fresh magazine. The gun was a 9mm, standard, nothing fancy but trustworthy. The mag had fifteen bullets. He placed it in his right hand, not liking the way it felt. It wasn't like he had a choice in the matter though. More dead were coming in from their left and behind them.

Now a choice.

He stared down at the three humans in front of him.

Only Judith looked back up at him, cherub face screwed up in complete terror.

BANG!

The walker's head exploded in red rain.

Fourteen bullets.

_Tyreese is probably a goner. Can't rely on him for help then. _

_BANG! BANG! _

Twelve bullets.

Gareth looked down at Noah, "Get the priest up. Gabriel can you still carry her with your good arm?"

"I-"

Gareth aimed the gun

BANG! BANG! BANG!

Nine bullets.

"If you don't get up now you're dead." Gareth's voice was final. They were getting closer, no more than twenty feet now. Gabriel looked up at him, his face shining with sweat. He nodded and gently picked up Judith with his good arm. Noah then took Gabriel's injured arm and draped it over his shoulders, making the priest wince. The youth then wrapped both arms around Gabriel's waist and pulled him to his feet. Gabriel struggled to keep his balance and his grip on Judith as she squirmed in his arms.

And they were off.

_We are probably going to die._

That was all Gareth could think, over and over again. He glanced down at his hands. A handgun with only nine rounds and a knife held by three awkward fingers with a chain swinging between them.

_We are definitely going to die._

Gareth aimed his shots and stabbed with his bad hand as they slowly made their way forward. He was a much better shot than Noah, even though he had to switch hands, but all of it wasn't making any difference. And the crying behind him was starting to get on his nerves.

"We can run until our feet bleed. It won't make a difference is she_ doesn't stop crying_!" Gareth absolutely pissed at this point. He wanted so bad to just shoot them all. Handcuffs and a promise from a perpetually angry cop were the only things keeping him from sending them six feet under.

BANG!

Three bullets.

Gabriel and Noah were struggling, Noah's bad leg was straining to keep just him up, much less an injured priest who was rapidly loosing blood from a bullet wound and a howling baby. Out of the corner of his eye, Gareth spotted an abandoned building through the trees. He looked back at he trio he was now protecting and, as if a light bulb had just turned on above his head, he finally thought of a plan.

Gareth almost grinned. Rick was going to _hate_ this, but there was no other way that Gareth could see them all living.

"Give her to me." Gareth told Gabriel quietly. He could barely even hear himself over her crying. Damn, the girl had a set of lungs on her.

Gabriel's eyes widened, but then went dark. "No."

Gareth was confused for a second, but then gave an indignant grumble. "I won't hurt her." It almost offended him that _that_ was their first thought, especially from Father Gabriel. However, with all that he had done, maybe he deserved it. Gareth nodded over to the abandoned house. "You guys can't go much longer. Hole up in there. We can actually use Judith's crying to our advantage and draw them away from you two. I'll just go until she shuts up and then hole up myself."

The two men stared at him, a mixture of shock and distrust in both of their eyes. A walker appeared over the ridge, shuffling feet crunching ominously. Gareth aimed the gun.

BANG!

Two bullets.

"Do you think Rick wouldn't hunt me down and kill me in the slowest possible way if I did anything to her? Plus he has the damn keys!" Gareth honestly did not know what else to do, he was at the end of his rope, sanity cracking. He paused, thinking, before he handed the gun back to Noah. "Two bullets boy, just in case." He stated. Noah nodded and took the gun. Gareth could see that it hadn't clicked. His hand shot out, gripping Noah's shoulder harshly.

"Two bullets." The realization slowly dawned over Noah's face. Gareth sighed, knowing there was nothing else he could do for them.

"Rick will be back. Once this all blows over get back to the church, ok?"

Noah nodded. Gareth and Gabriel's eyes met briefly. They paused and nodded to each other; a sort of recognition that they were parting allies. He then reached over and took Judith with his bad hand, his good hand gripping the knife for dear life. It was only then that Gareth realized he was shaking. He was scared shitless.

He watched as the two crippled men started making their way to hopeful safety.

Gareth then whipped around and ran.

* * *

><p>His plan had worked and Gareth regretted every second of it.<p>

He practically collapsed when he finally found somewhere safe to hide, itching at the metal cuffs rubbing his wrists raw. Judith had finally stopped crying just as Gareth came across a small gas station about two miles from where he had left Father Gabriel and Noah. He had circled it quickly, chest heaving, before he found the ladder to the roof and awkwardly climbed his way up it, arms and legs burning. Judith actually giggled as she bounced around while he climbed and he couldn't help but smile down at her.

Babies.

The world was ending one moment and unicorns with rainbows the next.

He set her down, maybe a little too roughly, as he fell to his knees and flopped down onto his back. The sun beat down on him mercilessly and he closed his eyes, just breathing in and out. His lungs were dry, the air almost hurting as he gulped it in.

He felt little hands pull at his hair.

"Just leave me alone, brat."

Silence.

Another pull.

"OW! Leave me alone." He rolled over and pointed an accusatory finger, "It is your fault we are in this mess."

The little girl before him did not make a sound, just stared up at him curiously. Her face broke out into a large four toothed smile and Gareth dropped his hand, making the handcuff chain rattle. He had seen those eyes before, long ago. A different lifetime ago. So bright and full of life, and almost the exact same color.

"You don't even realize what a stinker you are." He reached over and scooped her up, causing her to bury her face in her chest. He wrestled internally with unwelcome feelings of attachment and guilt. She was looking up at him again with those stupid trusting eyes. "I'm going to use you to trade for the key to these handcuffs and then it's hasta la vista, baby."

So blue.

Or he could just ... hand her over?

Gareth was greatly annoyed by her semblance to his ghosts of the past so he pushed her off his lap and crept to the edge of the roof. Most of the walkers were gone, heading off in some random direction, distracted by who knows what. Three walkers however were ambling around the gas station in circles, like vultures that had found a carcass.

"We are not dead," Gareth hissed vehemently. He looked over at Judith as she crawled around on all fours, exploring the top of the roof with innocent curiosity. "We are not dead." He looked around quickly for something, anything really that he could shove off the roof. He saw the gas station sign on the front, rusted and one side already completely loose and dangling off the edge. Gareth grinned and made his way over to it. With a few kicks the entire thing went tumbling to the ground. He waited for a few seconds, leaning precariously over the edge to check to make sure the dead ones had taken his bait. They did and they were soon all shuffling over to the noise, making Gareth smile. Before they could get distracted, he slipped down the ladder and pulled the knife from his belt, this time with five fingers thankfully wrapped around it.

The first one was easy, just a quick stab to the brain stem from behind.

The second one got five inches of sharp steel through the eye as it turned to see what had taken out its dead partner.

Gareth yanked back and was deeply annoyed when the knife stuck. He yanked again and it shook loose, but it had taken too long. The third zombie was upon him and Gareth swiped at it madly. Blood and guts splattered everywhere as he fell backwards, covering him in blackish red goo. The smell of death filled his nostrils and Gareth felt his stomach twinge. _You would think I'd be used to the smell by now.._

As the walker pressed forward, lurching on top of him, smothering him in more and more guts, Gareth brought up the knife and drove it straight into the zombie's ear. The fatal blow made it go limp on top of him and Gareth twisted his nose in disgust as blood trickled down from the head wound onto his cheek. He turned away and pulled the knife from its perch. Blood came gushing out and poured onto the side of his neck and hair. Gareth shoved the dead bastard off and tried wiping the blood away but his hands where covered in it. The red sludge was rapidly drying and turning brown in the hot sun.

_Zombie breakfast... yum...  
><em>

* * *

><p>Gareth was almost there, he could see the steeple, its elegant cross hovering high above the surrounding trees.<p>

He had gone back to the abandoned building, a warehouse from the looks of it. Nothing. Well, nothing except for a lot of fresh blood. Gareth could only hope that meant Gabriel and Noah had been able to escape.

_Or they were eaten..._

He hadn't found any bones, so he doubted that, but the thought kept nagging him as he trudged on. His limbs were rapidly turning to jello.

At least Judith had warmed up to him. She merrily cooed away, looking around, and every once in a while she would clap her hands together. She had a little walker blood and guts on her clothes, but otherwise she looked clean and happy. Gareth on the other hand, looked like an insane mass murderer, covered in blood, his brown hair matted and sticking to his neck and face. He only belatedly realized how horrible he looked as he plodded into the clearing and caught sight of the group turning towards him. They had been talking, rather loudly even though Gareth had not been paying attention to what they were saying, but fell deathly silent as he came into view. He paused for a moment when he caught sight of Noah, Gabriel,_ and_ Tyreese standing together... alive.

And Rick. He was back...

Rick sprinted forward, hand reflexively going down to his gun.

Gareth just held out a jubilant Judith.

"Looking for this?"

* * *

><p>Hahaha. I loved this chapter. Writing it was so fun and easy.<p>

Freakpeters - I love this pairing so much. They are so opposite, yet so alike. It's kinda perfect.

Guest - Glad you like the fic. Thanks for reviewing.

HelterSkelter - I did not like the fact that they had Glenn and Maggie leave either. Don't worry, I'm bringing them back soon enough.

charrynoir - I'm furiously writing away, i promise! Thanks for reviewing.

rocknrollprincess131 - I am so looking forward to the next 2 episodes of the show. w00t! And I'll make sure to check out your stories. ;)

Thanks for reading, please review.


	6. Chapter 6 - No Good Deed

OK, so last chapter was the sort of breakthrough chapter. I am glad all of you enjoyed it!

Just want to give a shout out to my new beta, rocknrollprincess131. Thanks for the help.

Well, here we go.

* * *

><p>Chapter 6 - No Good Deed<p>

_"I understand... if you want to just walk away... no hard feelings."_

_Gareth was suddenly very aware of his heart, thumping away in his ears with deafening thuds. Shock. And anger. Those were the only things he could feel right now._

_He was so angry._

**_What the fuck!? This was NOT fair... _**

_The scratch of the chair legs against the hard wood shook him out of it. He looked up to see his lunch companion standing. Leaving. _

_"I don't care." The words came out rushed and jumbled, falling over themselves in twisted urgency. _

_A pause. _

_"Wha-"_

_"I. Don't. Care." he repeated._

_Suddenly Gareth was standing too. Staring to those wide blue eyes. _

_He stepped forward, bringing up his hands to embrace the other. _

_Gareth pulled forcefully. _

_"I love you." _

_Their lips came crashing together. Need and passion. Sadness and anger. Gareth heard a sob, felt it catch in the others throat._

_They parted. _

_"I love you." He repeated._

* * *

><p>Gareth just stood there with his arms extended as Rick stared at him, dumbfounded. He rolled his eyes and practically shoved the baby into her father's chest. Rick seemed to sigh in relief as his arm enclosed around her. His eyes still held that underlying suspicion, but now as they looked Gareth over, they held something else.<p>

_Wonder._

"I-" Rick started, seemingly lost for words.

Gareth snorted, interrupting. "Yea, we're best buds now. So," He held out his hands, "The keys."

Rick visibly darkened, his back going stiff. Within the span of a millisecond, the entire atmosphere changed, it was as if all the happiness had been sucked out of their surroundings and replaced with hard tension. The two men stared at each other and finally, Rick broke the silence. "You know I can't."

Gareth felt the anger rolling inside him, as well as something else. Deep in his gut and strangely foreign. Disappointment. Was that what disappointment felt like? But at what? Was it over not being able to take the cuffs off? At himself for not taking Judith and using her as a bargaining chip? At Rick? Well it definitely had _something_ to do with Rick, however, Gareth did not think his problem was wholly with the other man. With chilling humility, Gareth realized he was disappointed at being _rejected_. He had nothing, no one who loved him, or even cared about him. In his own way, bringing Judith back had been a peace offering. And it had been rejected.

The leader glanced over his shoulder at Gabriel; their eyes only meeting briefly before flicking over to Daryl. The two nodded at each other, an unspoken agreement between them, and Daryl started forward.

"C'mon Hannibal Lecter." Daryl grumbled, slinging his crossbow up against his shoulder. Gareth gave an indignant sigh and stepped forward slowly.

"The knife." Rick said suddenly as Gareth passed him. Gareth and Rick were almost shoulder to shoulder, facing opposite directions, when the captive stopped. Gareth pulled the knife delicately from his belt and held it out by its tip, handle bared towards Rick. Rick slowly holstered his gun and took the knife. The air was once again thick with tension; the group deathly silent as they watched the two men.

"No good deed goes unpunished." Gareth quipped icily before stalking away. The hurt was building up in his chest.

The rest of the group parted immediately as he neared. Gareth held his head high, face set to silent fury, as he marched between them. All of them were watching him with the same mixture of amazement and suspicion in their eyes.

Rick was a dick.

He should have taken that little brat and ran.

* * *

><p><em>"We can survive here." He looked at the frightened group behind him. <em>

_They stared at the empty compound with uncertainty. _

_"We can do this." Gareth tried to make his voice hard, to give them hope. _

_Mary was holding Alex's forearm tightly. "Other people will come here too." She whispered._

_"I know! We can help them. We can all survive together." _

_A gasp. _

_Gareth turned to see one of the dead coming towards them. He brought up his gun and put a bullet in its head with a single shot._

_His mom watched quietly and then looked back over the large array of buildings before them._

_"Terminus..." She read out loud, breathing in slightly._

_Gareth stepped towards them and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. He smiled for the first time in a long time._

_"No Mom," He chided, "**Home**."_

* * *

><p>Gareth could hear them out there, talking and eating together. They were so close it made him both annoyed and jealous at the same time. Terminus used to be like that, were people came together not only to survive, but to live. To love and be loved. This group truly <em>loved<em> one another. He hated hearing them so open and close to each other. There was now a gloominess in the air though, making them cling to one another that much more, like life vests.

Gareth had learned there was a good chance that Carol, the one that had killed his mother, was going to die. He had caught sight of her prone damaged body in the other room, opposite Gabriel's office. An unresolved string for him that would now never be tied. Gareth has wanted to be the one who ended her, but it was as if that chance was handed to another fate.

Strangely, it was almost a relief. He would not have to look at her ever again. Gareth was getting so sick and tired of fighting, it was time for a change.

Without thinking of what he was doing, Gareth stood up and ventured carefully out of his pantry. The church was dark with nightfall, the light of a half moon barely lighting up the darkness enough for him to see, even with his normally impeccable night vision. The group was spread out over some of the pews in the front, the fire from a squat grill acting as both their light source and heating up some cans of soup and beans. Gabriel looked to be in high spirits, even with his arm heavily bandaged and in a sling. Noah sat quietly, nervously, but among them, while Daryl leaned back with a reserved, almost guarded, look on his face. They all stopped talking and stared as he entered their sight line.

He held up his three fingered hand and gave a small mock wave. "Hi." They continued staring, transfixed by his sudden appearance. His attempt at being charming fell completely flat. "Just hungry." Gareth rolled his eyes, "A man's gotta eat, you know."

After a small pause Rick stood. He took a dirty rag in one hand and reached forward to take one of the hot cans off the fire. He picked up a spoon before walking forward and centering himself before Gareth, a peculiar look in his now dark eyes. He then held out the meal in offering. Gareth accepted it and nodded his head graciously. Rick's face remained agitated. It took him a moment to realize that his twisted grin had settled itself goonishly on his lips. Gareth carefully wiped it away before trying again.

"Thank you." He said, surprised by the fact that he actually meant it.

* * *

><p><em>Gareth stared at the gun barrel pointed directly between his eyes. <em>

_"Why are you doing this?" He pleaded, feeling his mother behind him, broken sobs violently shaking her body. "We help people. We helped YOU. You don't have to do this."_

_Dark eyes just glared down at him, blank and unfeeling. Hideous tattoos covered a gaunt face, surrounded by unkempt dark hair. "We can fix this."_

_The newcomer slowly leaned down closer to where Gareth knelt on his knees. The young leader tried to keep still, hands raised high in surrender, as rank teeth gleamed at him from a dark smile. "No, I like things just the way they are now." The intruder looked around at the great expanse of enclosed area, safe from the dead that ravaged the world now. "Our new home. What do you think boys?"_

_There were yells of triumph and catcalls. _

_Gareth looked around at his group, his people, down on their knees. All of them were petrified. _

_Dark eyes leered down, and what he saw something in those eyes that made his very blood run cold. _

_"I think you and I are going to have lots of fun together."_

* * *

><p>Most of the others had wandered off to sleep, some of them had eyed him wearily before teetering away and Gareth wondered if any of them would sleep soundly. He knew they wouldn't, he also wondered how many knew that he would not sleep easily, either. Did they not see that he, as a crippled captive surrounded by a strong close-knit group, was in an infinitely more precarious situation than they were?<p>

No, they obviously did not.

Rick was still awake, he had decided to take first watch, with sleeping Judith nestled up against his chest.

Gareth found himself staring affectionately at the little babe. He could tell by Rick's pointed glares that it was making the older man deeply uncomfortable so he busied himself with warming his hands near the fire. It would be winter soon, and the night air was only getting colder. He wondered what Rick would do as the cold descended upon them. The group currently had a roof over them, but their food supplies would dwindle rapidly and that was if Rick even intended to stay here, which Gareth suspected he did not. Where would they go? How did Rick intend to survive? This fragile group could not afford to be caught out there in the freezing winter cold with so little to support themselves, and how did he fit into Rick's plan?

Gareth was surprised that he was wondering at all about the future of this group, especially a future that might include him. It was an odd thought indeed, but what troubled him even more was the fact that as much as he thought about Rick, the less he doubted the other man.

It irritated him to no end that he actually trusted Rick to ensure his survival. Well, actually ensure the _group's_ survival, but now he was a member too, albeit an unwelcome member. Gareth did not question Rick's ability to protect his family, he had made that mistake once before at Terminus and the proof of his mistake was now cemented forever by a crippled hand. He had also second guessed Rick when he left to rescue Beth and Carol, although he had returned with both women and no other casualties.

Gareth had to admit, Rick was a dependable leader, which was probably why everyone was so fiercely loyal to him, even if the bearded man was a little unhinged and brutal at times.

His brown eyes wandered slowly back to Judith as she slept on Rick's chest. The stupid brat was making him go soft and it made Gareth itch all over. "Where's her mother?" He asked suddenly and immediately regretted it. The question made him think of his own mother, Mary, and she was... dead.

Rick stayed silent before meeting his inquisitive gaze. "She's gone."

Gareth should have known. Nobody talked about her. Only Carol, Maggie, and Beth seemed like possible mothers, but none of them had claimed Judith as theirs, nor did they seem like possible companions for Rick.

"Lori. She was my wife, Carl's mother, before she died giving birth to Judith." Rick continued. There was a multitude of emotions buried deep in Rick's confession, but the one that stood out the most was regret. Whatever had happened with his wife, Rick felt overwhelmingly guilty about it. Oddly, this only made Gareth more curious. In this world, he would only guess what had happened. It then occurred to him that Rick had continued without prompt.

"You know, I was almost married once." Gareth's smooth voice was an exact opposite to Rick's, belying his own emotions swelling deep in his gut.

"What happened, you eat her?"

Gareth actually laughed out loud at this, catching Rick off guard. Was that wrong? To laugh? By the look on Rick's face, it was.

"No. Brain cancer. Three weeks before all this... ugliness." Gareth looked at his hands, laying limply in his lap. The can of food was sitting next to his right foot, empty, with the spoon still inside it. Gareth straightened back up to see Rick watching him. There must have been something in Gareth's voice that had given him away because Rick made no more snide comments, he just sat there, eyes squinted in suspicious curiosity. Despite their obvious differences and shared hatred, they were both oddly intrigued by each other, like two explorers examining a deadly new species of animal.

Gareth wanted to know just who Rick Grimes was, he wanted to push at him a little, to test those boundaries.

"I'm glad it happened though, almost like a blessing in disguise." Gareth said finally, words careful and calculative. "_He_ wouldn't have lasted an hour in this world." Gareth stared at Rick with unwavering eyes, gauging his reaction. Openly admitting something "surprising" or "controversial" to another person was always a fun way to judge their character, if you played your cards right.

Maybe it was that Rick already suspected Gareth's sexual orientation, or in this world you just could not be surprised by much anymore, or maybe it just did not matter to him, but Rick just narrowed his eyes slightly. He sat there quietly before sighing and leaning back, completely unfazed.

_Damn..._

Gareth had wanted at least a twitch or maybe a little disgruntled side-eye.

"-you," A voice broke Gareth's train of thought and he blinked, his eyelids were getting heavy with sleep. He looked up, not even realizing his gaze had fallen back down to his feet in the first place. It was Rick who had spoken and once he saw that Gareth had not heard him he tried again.

"I never said thanks for saving Judith," Piercing blue eyes bored into Gareth, as unshakable as the man they belonged to. Rick gave a slight nod, "Thank you."

Gareth tilted his head, his eyes suddenly gaining a playfully evil glint. He stood up slowly and dusted himself off in an overly dramatic fashion. "Well, who would have thought that underneath all that raging lunacy there was a rational human being?"

Rick's lips pursed into a narrow line before turning upwards into a small grin. He watched as Gareth, who looked a little dead on his feet, turned to head back towards the pantry. "Well, who would have thought that under all... _that_," Rick gave him a mocking nod of his head, "there was a human being at all?"

Gareth paused, standing still as the dying flames of the fire flickered around the church, not quite knowing what to say. It seemed Rick was testing Gareth more than Gareth was testing Rick. The younger man just chalked it up to his fatigue. He needed sleep.

"There used to be one," Gareth did not want to play games anymore, he was just so done with the entire charade. "I guess he just got eaten too..." With that, he turned and silently walked away.

* * *

><p><em>"I'm so sorry Mr. Andrews." <em>

_Gareth stood there at the trunk of his car, grocery bag in one hand, phone in the other. His hand shook._

_"It just happened, while he was asleep. We knew that you would want to be called immediately." _

_A tomato rolled into the road from the dropped bag that landed at Gareth's feet. He had been expecting this for a while. But now? When he was not even there? _

_Gareth leaned heavily against the car. Tears were beginning to fall from his eyes, he could feel the warm tracks they left behind on his cheeks. _

_"Mr. Andrews?" _

**_He's gone..._**

* * *

><p>Yea, so there's that.<p>

I picked a last name for Gareth (Since those jerk writers didn't even bother), just something I thought fit. Gareth Andrews, in homage to the adorably amazing Andrew J West. _  
><em>

Reviewer replies

BehindTheMasqueradeMask - They are my favorite! It's gonna be interesting because I'm going to have Judith love Gareth and Carl absolutely despise him. Fun times...

Guest 1 - The two of them are an awesome pairing. I love the strength, yet vulnerability of both of them.

Guest 2 - *flips on switch to furious writer mode* I love writing Gareth TOOooooooOO! I promiiiissssssse!

HunterArk - Gareth is my favorite character to write in a long long time. And yes, I absolutely adore him and Judith, it's my new favorite (platonic) pairing. lol

rocknrollprincess131 - I love making Gareth more and more human. I wanted to make a redemption ark for him because I think he deserves it.

kingcarlgrimes - Well I fail. I got the email for your second review first, read it and kinda freaked, went to approve all the guest reviews and hit the "approve all reviews" button without reading them first and then it posted both reviews... *facepalm* ANYways, thank you for the long reviews, I appreciate it. I love Gareth and Judy too, so freakin much. This chapter is a Gareth one, so we don't get Rick's POV, but next chapter will be Rick and yea, it'll be a good one I hope. Oh, I am on walkingdeadfanfiction, but I didn't realize there was another fanfic site. *zooms off to investigate*

SapphireSue - Hahaha! *Bows* thanks!

Guest 3 - Oh how I love Gareth. I haven't been this excited about a character in a long time.

Thank you everyone for reading, please review and let me know what you're thinking/reactions to Gareth's coming out.


	7. Chapter 7 - Even

Hey everybody, I'm really sorry I haven't updated in a while. With the holidays I am swamped! So over the next few weeks, at least until the New Year I can't promise regular updates. I will post whenever I get something though, I promise.

_**IMPORTANT NOTE**_

So, I love my hetero couples just as much as my homo couples and I have an idea of an alternate story from One Day. It will have the same beginning/same chapters up through Chapter 5, were Gareth rescues Judith, but it will be a non-slash alternative, with the main pairings being **Gareth/Beth, **Richonne, and Caryl. The mid season finale was awesome and a little meh for me at the same time. I actually like Beth and was sad to see her go. They spent so much time building her up and making her stronger and then just... I dunno. It was a little unsatisfying so I want keep her alive. I can kill characters, i have no problem with that, but I think they killed the_ wrong_ characters with both Gareth and Beth... Anyways,** I will be opening up a poll on my profile page.** Please let me know in the form of a review and/or of a poll vote of whether or not you would be interested in a Gareth/Beth story.

That is all, thanks! :D

* * *

><p>Chapter 7 - Even<p>

The sun slowly rose, its light reaching farther and farther across the trees until finally Rick was bathed in warmth. He savored it, drank it in and let it calm him. Most of the others were still asleep, but he was restless and had not slept well last night. Rick knew even without looking that there were circles under his eyes and deep creases lined his face.

Knowledge was power, wasn't that the saying?

The more you knew, the better off you were. You could prepare for what was to come and make sounder decisions, it was easier to understand how and why things happened the way they did. However, it did not always seem that way to Rick and recently it was almost as if the _opposite_ was happening. Knowledge might be power, but it was also dangerous.

Take Michonne. Rick did not know what was going on between the two of them and he feared what would happen if one of them tried to find out. Both of them could feel the potential for something more. They both also knew that it could end up not turning out the way they wanted it to. For Rick, he could not risk that happening. The times when he had been at his darkest, and most unstable, had all been when someone he loved was either killed or about to be killed. He had bitten out a man's throat when Carl had almost been raped. And Lori... He had gone crazy when she passed.

Rick needed a clear head and finding out if a relationship with Michonne was possible could only lead to drama and distractions.

And then there was Gareth. The more Rick came to know about the other man, the more human Gareth seemed. He could almost feel Gareth inching his way under Rick's skin. Of course Rick knew better and he always kept a wary eye out, but he could feel his guard slipping. Every once in a while, he had even mentally included Gareth as part of the group when he thought about how they would survive the coming winter.

Gareth was an enemy, sure, but he was also a human being.

And now Rick _knew_ that.

Good and evil always seemed so clear cut in Rick's head. However, in real life it was much more complicated. Sometimes Rick almost regretted letting Gabriel save the young man.

It would be so much easier if Gareth was gone.

Gareth was there though and he had saved Judith. That was something that Rick could never forget or repay. That debt made Rick's gut twitch and his neck warm; it felt a little like embarrassment. That embarrassment was only magnified when Gareth had revealed himself to be gay. Along with making him more of an actual human being in Rick's mind, it brought forth muddled long lost memories of someone that Rick wanted only to forget.

Shane.

Rick had been devastated when Shane went crazy and tried to kill him, and not for the obvious reasons. Of course he had been Rick's best friend since middle school, his partner and crime and brother in arms. Shane's death left a hole in Rick that the man had desperately tried to fill by forming his tight friendship with Daryl.

But friendship was not all Rick had lost when Shane died. He remembered those days long ago when a gangly awkward teenager looked up to his infinitely cooler best friend. Shane had been so popular, he had gotten all the girls and had a multitude of friends. A pimple faced Rick would hang on to every word Shane said when the two friends stayed up late with a few stolen beers and Rick's father's adult magazine stash. He wondered what it would be like to have sex with someone, and maybe it was because Shane was the one giving him the blow by blow of his conquests, but Rick wanted nothing more than to participate.

_You never forget your first crush..._

It had never occurred to Rick that his sexual fantasies including Shane were... odd. Gays, lesbians, and bisexuals were not really a concept he had come across often in early 1990's Georgia.

Rick had never acted on it of course, he was too shy and insecure. Then in college he had met Lori and it was almost as if the world fell into place, he was so in love with her. When Rick looked back at his high school years, he just chalked in up to crazy teenage hormones and he never really had a reason to look any closer at those feelings. He was a happily married man and a father, there was no need to consider any other options. However, now that Lori was gone and the world had pretty much ended, all Rick had was time to reflect upon better times. Michonne had made him dig up and examine his love life, but Gareth, and his calculated coming out, had made Rick wonder about himself.

Was he...?

No, not gay like Gareth. But maybe bisexual?

Even if he was, it did not make a difference. Rick did not want a relationship with Michonne or anybody, least of all a psychotic cannibal like Gareth. Just because Gareth was gay and Rick was potentially bisexual meant absolutely nothing.

_You never forget your first crush..._

Shane.

Maybe he was bisexual...

Rick shook his head and ran a nervous hand through his curly hair. He wished he could just stop thinking about the whole thing, he was rapidly approaching over analyzing what should be a very simple situation.

No. Knowledge was not power at all, but ignorance _was_ bliss.

* * *

><p>They heard the vehicle before they saw it. Its dull roar was not exactly inconspicuous when the modern world was pretty much extinct. The group gathered at the front of the church, weapons poised as a large fire engine came rolling into view.<p>

Rick calmly pointed his weapon at the driver side windshield before a small smile slowly spread across his face.

The fire truck lurched to a stop and the driver killed the engine. Rick watched as the door opened and Abraham stepped out and looked down at them. The huge redhead's signature scowl and mustache was almost a welcome sight and Rick gave him a slight nod of his head as Maggie appeared from around the other side.

"Eugene lied." Maggie said simply, as if she were stating that the sky was blue. Rick paused, internalizing the information, before giving a sigh and slight shrug of his shoulder. Something deep inside had already told him that the mullet-ed man was a fraud and his cure for the undead was just another pipe dream, but to hear it confirmed out loud was a deep disappointment to say the least. That being said, Rick was extremely happy and relieved to have the rest of his family back together.

Glenn appeared next to his wife, "He's unconscious in the back. Abraham got a little ... upset... when he finally confessed."

Rick's eyes flicked over to the former soldier, who just grunted nonchalantly before he started to pull gear from the truck, before he turned and spoke to Maggie.

"We have a surprise for you," He could not help the smile that spread slowly over his face.

Rick slowly led Maggie through their small group, letting her stop and hug and greet people, before bringing her to the second room in the back of the church. Carol was the first one that Maggie saw since she was in the sight lines of the doorway and the young woman ran forward to give Carol a hug. Carol was making an amazing recovery and Rick had a strong feeling that she would make it. She was too strong to be pulled down by a few broken ribs and a concussion. That doctor really knew his craft too...

It was the second person in the room that made Maggie gasp and cover her mouth in shock. The two sisters stared at each, silent. Tears began falling as Beth slowly stood up and reached out to embrace her big sister. Maggie just stood there in shock, crying, as Beth wrapped her arms around Maggie lovingly. Finally Maggie hugged her back tightly and the two women sank to the floor, both now crying and laughing at the same time.

Rick and the rest of the group watched on quietly. Sasha wiped a few tears from her eyes and Michonne leaned her head lightly on Rick's shoulder, a reserved smile on her face. Rick let her, quietly enjoying the brief closeness to another person. Gabriel appeared slowly from his office, drawn in by all the commotion, his injured arm bound tightly to his chest. Nobody seemed to notice him.

However, the person who followed him made all pandemonium break loose.

The sight of Gareth, even still handcuffed, sent Abraham immediately on the defensive. He pulled his weapon with cool efficiency and of course Rosita followed him, her sidearm aimed in mere seconds. Even Glenn placed his rifle butt into his shoulder with a warning look covering his face, but kept the muzzle pointed at the ground. Abraham barked for Gareth to stop and raise his arms, and Gabriel started shrieking for Abraham to not shoot.

"Why is he here?" Abraham growled at Rick.

Rick did not answer. He just stood there, giving Abraham a calculative look. He glanced over at Gabriel and Gareth, both of whom had frozen.

"Rick-" Glen started, but he didn't have a chance to finish as Rick cut him off.

"He saved Judith." Rick's voice was firm and authoritative. He needed Abraham to know that he would not be challenged on this matter. "For now he lives..."

Glenn paused but then slowly pulled the rifle from firing position. Abraham took a few seconds longer, but he too followed suit, nodding at Rosita to lower her firearm. Suddenly, it was Carl who actually spoke up.

"You can't be serious!" The young boy looked almost murderous.

"Carl-"

"No, Dad. This is BULLSHIT!"

"CARL!"

The two Grimes males fell silent, staring at each. Rick knew that he would always be challenged in his leadership of this group, however it hurt most whenever his biggest opponent came in the form of his beloved son. He did not falter though, and kept his face steady until Carl gave a disgusted huff and stalked away.

Rick only then noticed that Carl's hand was securely gripping that handle of his gun.

* * *

><p>"With Carol on the mend, I think we should move out tomorrow. It isn't safe to stay in one place any longer than necessary. Beth and Father Gabriel are both injured, but fine. We're going to run low on food soon, we'll ration what's left before leaving," Rick licked his lips and looked up at Daryl and Abraham. Abraham was studying the map closely and Daryl just gave him a pensive look.<p>

Even if Rick was growing to doubt himself less and less, second opinions were always needed. Daryl was the best when it came to surviving, along with the fact that Rick trusted him the most.

Abraham was just too damn dominant to be left out of the important decisions.

"We can follow the highway until we reach border and then swing north. We have yet to see what's up there." A safe haven was never going to happen, Rick knew that now, but he would be damned if he just gave up.

"Just one thing," Abraham said slowly, looking up from the map, "_He_ has to go."

Abraham did not have to clarify who "he" was, Rick knew exactly who the redhead was talking about. Stabs of anger ran through him in warm pulses and Rick had to pause to collect himself. He actually had to stop and figure out what whether he was angry that Abraham wanted to kill Gareth or that he was challenging Rick's authority.

Rick was going to have to make sure Abraham understood the way this group worked.

"No." Rick pushed down the feelings of obligation to repay a debt that surfaced unexpectedly. He told himself that he was standing his ground to show Abraham who was in charge, that he would not tolerate power grabs for the leadership of the group.

For the second time that day, Rick again thought about Shane.

Surprisingly, Abraham seemed to get the message and, even though a furiously disgusted look settled onto his face, he shrugged and looked back down at the map. A sigh of relief made its way silently through Rick's open lips. He was grateful that he would not have fight with Abraham, to be honest he did not know who would win a brawl between the two of them.

And now Rick would not have to feel overwhelmingly guilty about Gareth getting murdered. As if Rick did not feel guilty enough…

* * *

><p>Rick walked slowly up to Gareth, trying to find any reason to not do what he was about to do next. As much as he wanted to, he could not think of one, well, besides the fact that it was <em>him<em>.

Was that alone enough to negate Gareth getting what he deserved?

Rick was not one to be indebted to anyone, least of all a man like Gareth, so he might as well just get it done with. He could not continue with these feelings of guilt and unpaid debt hovering over him and affecting his judgment. His decisions had to be made as soundly and un-biased as possible.

Now if Rick did this and Gareth was killed, it would be due to the young man's own actions and Rick could have a clear conscious.

"Come with me." He growled at Gareth, not even pausing in his stride as he passed. If Gareth was nervous, he did not show it, he simply followed without a word. The two men tramped through the woods, the humidity was like a sauna. They weren't far away from the group, just out of sight and hearing distance. Rick knew that the others would not approve of what he was about to do, but he was an honest man who tried to do what was right most of the time; when it did not endanger his family.

He sighed heavily when he came to a stop.

That was why this was so hard for him.

These two sides of him were at war. Doing what was right and doing what he had to do to survive.

"Hands."

Again Gareth obliged, bringing up both hands with the rattle of the handcuffs and presenting them to Rick. It was unsettling how passive he had suddenly become. Rick peered curiously at Gareth and found brown eyes just as curiously watching him. The look on Gareth's face said he had no idea what the older man was about to do. However, he trusted him enough to come out here alone and weaponless.

In one swift motion, Rick pulled the key from his pocket, reached up and unlocked one hand. The handcuff fell away, swinging as he unlocked the other hand and pulled the handcuffs off completely. Rick noted that both wrists were rubbed red and raw before finally looking at Gareth's face.

That amused look was there, but his eyebrows were climbing higher onto his forehead in disbelief.

"Go." Rick said finally and Gareth's eyes went impossibly wide. A short laugh of disbelief sounded from the back of Gareth's throat and then fell flat. Brown eyes narrowed suspiciously. No anger, just doubt. Rick took a moment to enjoy Gareth's flabbergasted face.

"You once said that we would never cross paths again if I let you go. Well, my daughter is alive thanks to you. You could have done many things back there, but you didn't." The explanation did not explain everything, but Rick figured Gareth got all the main points.

_I will not, I **cannot**, continue being indebted to you…_

For some reason though Gareth did not turn around and immediately bolt.

"I did what I had to do to survive." Gareth answered quietly and Rick nodded, about to turn away. Gareth suddenly stepped forward, too close for Rick's comfort. When he spoke again, his voice got even quieter, "I hope you know that is all I've ever done."

With that, Gareth held his hands back up, wrists bared as if offering them to be cuffed again. Now it was Rick's turn to be surprised. He couldn't suppress the astonishment from creeping over his face.

"You want to stay?"

Gareth shrugged nonchalantly. "Judith kinda grows on you." He gave a smile, cocking his head flippantly to one side, "Well, her and your beard."

Rick quirked an eyebrow, suddenly very uncomfortable. Gareth then shook his wrists a little, as if to berate Rick for not re-cuffing him already. All Rick gave him was an enigmatic glance, followed with a small smile of his own. With deliberate reverence, he turned around and walked away.

"Can you be a vegetarian?"

Rick's question hung in the air, mocking its recipient.

After a brief pause, Rick heard the crunch of steps following him back to the church while the handcuffs jangled quietly from his belt.

"I guess we'll find out..." The words sounded as if the one who spoke them almost feared the answer.

* * *

><p>Review responses<p>

charrynoir - I am glad you liked it, I was actually nervous because this was the chapter that finally revealed Gareth as gay.

rocknrollprincess131 - yea, I wanted Gareth to redeem himself, not have others fight for him. I wanted him to reach rock bottom and want to be better.

Liverpool2005 - I love the relationship between these two characters. They inspire me! I'm glad you like the fic, even if the pairing isnt your fav. My original pairing was Daryl/Gareth (which i am considering writing later) but once I started writing it, Rick and Gareth took over and seemed so much more interesting. And yea, that beard has gotta go.

Bad Ass Female Fighter - I love Judith and love making Gareth fawn over her.

Reda - Yeah! I'm glad it was exciting/suspenseful. I was a little worried about my action scenes, but i think they turned out ok. I love Rick and Gareth taking jabs at one another, its so much fun. Honestly, I was a little worried about the flashbacks and if they would make sense or not, I hope its not too much for you to keep track of. You need to watch the show, dang you!

**PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT A NON-SLASH GARETH/BETH STORY! :D**

Thanks.


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